Rudy Giuliani was attempting to prove voter fraud in Michigan on Wednesday, and the hearing could not have gone more off the rails. The woman he brought in as his “star witness” appeared to either be incredibly intoxicated, or she was auditioning for a role on Saturday Night Live. These lawsuits are a complete farce, and they are doing more damage to Trump and Giuliani than the two men realize. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins discusses this.


*This transcript was generated by a third-party transcription software company, so please excuse any typos.

At an election fraud hearing yesterday in Michigan, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump’s lead attorney, uh, brought forth their star witness, the woman who was going to blow the case wide open, uh, because she allegedly, um, and according to her own testimony has seen the fraud firsthand by looking in the poll books. Now, if you don’t know what that is, uh, that’s a joke. She’s trying to say poll books. And when I say trying to say you’ll understand what I mean after you watch this clip, uh, things went off the rails to say the least, this woman that Rudy Giuliani brought in was absolutely off her rocker. And it was a beautiful sight to behold here it is in all of its glory, Rudy Giuliani’s star witness.

Melissa Carone:                The co, the pullback, the poll book is completely off, completely off. That poll.

Rep S. Johnson:                  Off by thirty thousand?

Melissa Carone:                I’d say that poll book is off by over a hundred thousand. That poll book. Why don’t you look at the registered voters on there? How many registered voters are on there? Did you, do you even know the answer to that?

Rep S. Johnson:                  No, I guess is, I’m trying to get to the bottom of this here.

Melissa Carone:                Zero, zero. There’s zero.

Rep S. Johnson:                  So my question then is, if the.

Melissa Carone:                Guess how many, wait, what about, what about, how, what about about the turnout rate? 120%?

Rep Matt Hall:                     Well let’s, let’s let representative Johnson ask his question.

Rep S. Johnson:                  So the poll book number, okay there, there’s two things that could happen here. Either the poll book number, if ballots were caught multiple, multiple times, there, there’s two options. Option number one is that the poll book numbers are not going to match the actual.

Melissa Carone:                They don’t.

Rep S. Johnson:                  Not by thousands and thousands of votes. That’s not what we see right now.

Melissa Carone:                You take a look again, take a look again.

Rep S. Johnson:                  Option number two is that they essentially were filling in names of people who didn’t vote.

Melissa Carone:                Dead people too?

Rep S. Johnson:                  So is that.

Rep Matt Hall:                     Let’s let Representative Johnson ask his question and then when he’s done.

Melissa Carone:                I thought that was his answer. Okay.

Rep S. Johnson:                  That’s, that’s my question here is, why we’re not seeing the poll book off by 30,000 votes. That, that’s not the case.

Melissa Carone:                What did you guys do, take it and, uh, do something crazy to it?

Rep S. Johnson:                  I’m just saying the numbers are not off by 30,000 votes. So.

Melissa Carone:                I know what I saw.

Rep S. Johnson:                  Are you saying that they’re filling in.

Melissa Carone:                I know what I saw. And I signed something saying that if I’m wrong, I can go to prison. Did you?

Rep Matt Hall:                     Okay. We’re, I think.

Rep S. Johnson:                  I’m just trying to ask you a question here.

Rep Matt Hall:                     Yeah. Let’s let representative Johnson ask his question and then don’t interrupt him and then.

Melissa Carone:                Okay.

Rep Matt Hall:                     And then if you want to respond to it, that’s fine. Did you have more representative?

Rep S. Johnson:                  Yeah, I guess I just want to keep following back up with the poll books. Are we saying that the poll book is either wildly off or that they are.

Melissa Carone:                Wildly off.

Rep S. Johnson:                  That they are filling in names?

Melissa Carone:                It’s wildly off and dead people voted and, uh, illegals voted. So that’s my answer.

Rep Matt Hall:                     Okay.

Now I have watched this clip multiple times, because this is the most fun thing that has happened from this entire election. I love this because it’s kind of hard to tell, like one, everybody assumes she’s intoxicated. She seems kind of intoxicated, right? I mean, she’s sitting there, like I had to say, I wouldn’t lie outside. I go to jail. Did you all fight everyone? Or, you know, she didn’t really say that, but you know, that’s, that’s kind of how she was acting. We’ve all seen that person at the bar, right? Let’s be honest. We’ve all seen that person. And if you haven’t seen them, you might be that person. So option number two, she’s not intoxicated, but maybe she has problems in that case, she needs help. She doesn’t need to be paraded out there by Rudy Giuliani and put on display for everyone to see she needs help.

And three, this is somehow, and this might even be the most likely scenario here. This is somehow an SNL sketch, a sketch come to life. That’s the only, I mean, the woman looks like she was, you know, put together that way for that appearance. You know, she kind of has a little bit of Selina Kyle from Batman returns going on there. Uh, precast woman, obviously I’m dating myself with that reference, but she looks put together in a messy way. Like, you know what I mean? Like she’s, she’s messy looking, but it looks intentional. Like it took a lot of work to look like that as if somebody who’s playing a part would look, the whole thing is not. So, I mean, I don’t know of any other nicer way to say it. I know of a lot of a more accurate, but far meaner ways to say what’s happening, but this is it.

This is the best Rudy Giuliani can have. And you can see several times of the clip when he like reaches over. Like, could you, could you please not get a new stop? Whatever it is you’re doing. Um, but these are the people that Donald Trump has on his side. And these are the people that he firmly believes, or at least pretends to believe are somehow going to win the election for him, even though enough States have certified that there’s literally nothing that can be done to say stop Biden from becoming the next president. No matter how many crazy people you trot out there to testify, none of it is going to make a difference.

Farron Cousins is the executive editor of The Trial Lawyer magazine and a contributing writer at He is the co-host / guest host for Ring of Fire Radio. His writings have appeared on Alternet, Truthout, and The Huffington Post. Farron received his bachelor's degree in Political Science from the University of West Florida in 2005 and became a member of American MENSA in 2009. Follow him on Twitter @farronbalanced