Last night while the rest of the reasonable world was sleeping, die-hard Trumpkins nationwide were holding watch parties and yawning well past their bedtime to catch the much-awaited and promised Wikileak to end all Wikileaks.
Yes, Alt-right’s most recent hero Julian Assange had told Trump-lovers that at 3’o’clock in the morning, he would be releasing his biggest bombshell yet – the info-dump to end Clinton’s entire political career. It was hard to ignore such a grand promise, especially considering all of the legitimate leaks WikiLeaks has been a part of in recent years.
Except that it was all one big troll.
Democratic insiders won’t be too happy to learn that Assange had committed such a political crime against the right-wingers, as it interferes with their ongoing narrative that Russia is behind all of these leaks (because Putin hearts Trump, of course), but it’s true!
Rather than reveal some scathing information about Clinton – maybe confirming all those people she apparently killed – Assange begged viewers to buy his latest book.
Among the many who were “Wiki-Rolled” was infamous alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones who stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, live-streaming the event for his InfoWars show.
At the event’s conclusion, Jones made clear his disapproval for Assange in true batsh*t style, saying “thank for nothing,” before launching into Ludacris’ 2001 hit “Move Bitch Get Out Da Way.”
Jones claimed that he was only acting so crazy because it was somewhere around 4 in the morning, but we’ve seen too much of Jones’ dark side to believe that lie.