A crazed North Dakota man who plotted to kidnap the White House dog Bo has been tracked down by police and Secret Service and arrested in a Washington D.C. hotel.
When police found Scott D. Stockert, he told them that he was heavily armed. Officers found multiple guns, ammunition, a billy club, and a machete in his truck.
The man also told police that he was Jesus and the lovechild of JFK and Marilyn Monroe. He also admitted to police that he was planning to kidnap the president’s dog, and that he was planning to announce his presidential candidacy during his time in the city.
No doubt he would be running as a Republican, so we welcome him alongside a group of candidates just as crazy if not more so than he. Unfortunately, he has been arrested and is under heavy supervision. Maybe the 2020 election, buddy.