In a town blanketed with snow, authorities have said that they are planning to cut the power to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge where an unknown number of self-proclaimed patriots are holing themselves up with guns and snacks in protest of the federal government.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service who are working closely with the FBI on this case say that they plan to cut the power soon.

An anonymous federal government official had this to say about the situation:

“It’s in the middle of nowhere, And it’s flat-ass cold up there.”

“After they shut off the power, they’ll kill the phone service. Then they’ll block all the roads so that all those guys have a long, lonely winter to think about what they’ve done.”

Indeed, the weather in rural Oregon is well below freezing, and with expected snow storms this week, the inclement weather could leave the big bad militia men shivering in their camo pants.

Looks like pretty soon we will see the Y’all Qaeda turned into Protester Popsicles.

Sydney Robinson is a political writer for the Ring of Fire Network. She has also appeared in political news videos for Ring of Fire. Sydney has a degree in English Literature from the University of West Florida, and has an active interest in politics, social justice, and environmental issues. She would love to hear from you on Twitter @SydneyMkay or via email at